Of witches and other absurdities

     

Last week, I received a print magazine from a Roman Catholic missionary order with which I have had some past association. It's not a large publication, maybe only 12 or 16 pages, but one of the articles caught my attention.

This article described a recent incident in Papua New Guinea, which has long been a major mission theater for this order of priests and brothers. In particular, it described the ordeal of two women who were accused of witchcraft by relatives of a young man who died. Purportedly, an autopsy was unable to pinpoint the cause of death. Nonetheless, it was claimed that the dead man, after he was dead, used his cell phone to call a relative and complain that the two women had stolen his heart, causing him to die, hence the charge of witchcraft.

Witch ordeal

As a result, the women were captured by a group of men and tortured to make them return the young man's heart. One woman died, though the other, who was pregnant, was able to escape to a neighboring province. There, she spent several weeks in the hospital recovering from burns and other injuries, including the loss of her unborn child.

The incident took place in a community with a large Catholic contingent; the woman, herself, was a baptized Catholic. The Catholic bishops of the region, concerned about a growing tide of sorcery beliefs and violence, even among their congregants, developed a specific, faith-based educational program in an attempt to turn back that tide.

According to the article, one of the major themes of the program was a reminder of the baptismal vows that were customarily renewed by the congregants during the Easter season. Included in that profession of beliefs were statements of the power and goodness of God and of the insidious perfidy of Satan.

At this point in my reading, I was struck by the dichotomy represented by the program's approach. In effect, the Catholic co-religionists were being asked to reject one body of mysticism and to embrace another, the basis for either being, solely, faith.

There was an element of absurdity to that notion that begged me to make one of my increasingly rare entries to my blogs.

The Good SamaritanJacopo Bassano, c. 1562

You know what? If the Catholics or the Mormons, Anglicans, Methodists, Baptists, Witnesses, Adventists or any other Christian or Muslim group wants to help their fellow men, then put down your sacred texts and put aside your proselytizing and pick up a shovel or a trowel. Dig a well, construct a road, put in a sewer. After all, when the Samaritan, in Jesus's parable, came across the injured traveler, he didn't preach to him. Instead, he treated his wounds, carried him to shelter and saw to his care.

Rather than build chapels, basilicas, temples, meeting houses or mosques, spend the money on hospitals, schools, fire stations and water treatment plants.

In other words, put your money where your mouth is.

But that ain't gonna' happen, is it?

And do you know why?

It's because the main function of any organized religion is the aggrandizement of that organization, not the actualization of its sermonized tenets.

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Politics, the oldest profession and some old jokes

My two favorite "professional" jokes (you were warned they were oldies):


A man is sitting in a bar when a beautiful woman walks up and whispers in his ear, "I'll do anything you want for a hundred bucks."

He puts his drink down and digs some bills from his pockets. He pulls two fives, a ten and four twenties from the crumbled wad and thrusts the cash into the woman's hand and says, "Here. Go paint my house."

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A famous man at a charity banquet asks the beautiful young woman next to him, “Assuming that you would likely give the money to charity, would you sleep with me for half a million dollars?”


After some thought she says, “Yes.”


“And would you for one hundred dollars?”


“Of course not! What sort of woman do you think I am?!”


“I think we've already determined that. Now we’re just haggling about price.

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The American Dream

On a more serious note, until we can severely limit and rigidly control "donations" and other money exchanges in our elective political system, we will never have an actual democracy. I grant that the U.S. Constitution may allow the present abuses; that doesn't mean that it frames a pristine democratic process. Far, far from it. We delude ourselves in thinking otherwise.

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Infringed benefits

The Second Amendment to the Constitution of the United States of America:

A well regulated Militia, being necessary to the security of a free State, the right of the people to keep and bear Arms, shall not be infringed.

It seems to me that, with all the citizens who keep and bear arms, we ought to be enjoying much more security under the protection of an exponentially enlarged and very well-regulated militia. For some reason, however, most of the radical right-to-keep-and-bear-arms Americans out there make me feel considerably less secure.
Go figure.

Maybe we all just need bigger guns!

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The Return of Manifest Destiny

There is a strong current running through the political swamps of our country that we Americans know what’s best for everybody on the planet.

We are now insisting, usually at dollar sign and decimal point, but often at smart bomb and gun point, that other countries do things our way. The way of Freedom.

That is, Freedom as we define it.

The Freedom to Incorporate. The Freedom to Codify and Legalize Bribery. The Freedom to Franchise. The Freedom to Merchandise. The Freedom to Advertise. The Freedom to Target Demographics. The Freedom to become consumers rather than citizens. After all, as we have been told so often that it begins to ring of truth: democracy spreads through commercial trading. Capitalism is the hallmark of a true Democracy.

No longer is American Democracy burdened with Franklin Delano Roosevelt’s quaint Four Freedoms (so popular during the naiveté of the first half of the 1940s):

The freedom of speech and expression

The freedom of worship

The freedom from want

The freedom from fear

These have all been reinterpreted as the “freedom to trade.”

To the world we proudly announce (at least to those few places where it’s not already true): America! Coming soon to a store near you!

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American Solutions

I think I have some strategies that may be effective in solving some of America's biggest problems: the federal deficit, unemployment, illegal immigration and cheap energy. What's more, I think these notions, with one minor exception, are right in keeping with the ways in which America does business.

Reduce unemployment

1. Put more people in jail.

2. Go to war with more countries.

The first policy reduces the population eligible for employment while at the same time increasing employment in construction and corrections. Broadening and increasing mandatory sentencing is one means to this end, a happy prospect for most Americans, though the death penalty, unfortunately, is counter-productive.

The second finds alternative employment for young men and women while also reducing their numbers (I know, that last part is kinda harsh, but then I always have thought that war was sort of a dumb idea for most purposes).

Eliminate illegal immigration

We should simply annex Mexico into the United States. Some Mexicans may object to the idea, but that could be the basis for another war, hence more employment, as would be the wars with other countries who might object to our annexing Mexico. This increases defense contractor employment, too.

What's the point, after all, of being the only Superpower on the planet if we can't go after what we want, like Mexican oil and cheap labor. If other Central and South American countries represent a significant source of illegal immigration (or oil), annex them, too.

Reducing the federal deficit

1. Institute a national lottery.

2. Legalize and tax marijuana and sell it through government stores. Granted, this one will require some spin.

As many have pointed out, lotteries are a tax on those least able to afford it, which should be pleasing to the Republicans. At the same time, Democrats should favor the idea that a lottery gives even the poorest a chance at the American Dream, and probably not much more of a long shot than what they have now.

Legalizing marijuana would cut down the costs of the never-ending war on drugs and bring the profits, currently going into the coffers of foreign drug lords, into the U.S. Treasury, where we can use it for even more corporate welfare payouts.

To be really bold, however, and to wipe the deficit away even in the face of increased war spending, we should also legalize and tax LSD, psilosybin, extasy, meth, crack and cocaine as well as heroin. Instead of a war on drugs we could win wars with drugs-based taxes.

Improving foreign relations

With all the additional employment represented by the above strategies, we might be able to reduce unemployment in other countries by hiring foreign mercenaries for sort of an American Foreign Legion, thus improving our foreign relations (except maybe for those sympathetic to the Mexican resistance). While these forces should never be permitted on American soil (OK, maybe in U.S. territories and possesions, like Puerto Rico, Samoa and Canada), individuals could be granted U.S. citizenship after, say, 20 years in service.

Or am I watching too much YouTube?

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